Central Heating Won't Work: Success, disaster, humour

1 Check the timer by the boiler.

2 Check the radiators - may need bleeding.

3 Check the room or hall temperature timer.

Plumbing Success Story

We called a plumber in 2002. He found that our son had turned the room temperature control down in the summer. He made no charge. He looked at other jobs which needed doing and gave us helpful advice.

What if the heating still doesn't work?

Next steps would be:

1 Drain the radiators. Last time this took a day. They emptied one at a time out in a garden or patio.

Plumbing Disaster Story

On another occasion the plumber had to turn off the water.

We were in a block of flats. Our plumber accidentally turned off the flat upstairs. 

Very irate lady upstairs. She had already spent time and money on

He had by now gone to lunch and claimed his car broke down, he was in a traffic jam, would be back at 5 pm. The lady upstairs had bought gallons of drinking water.

I offered to let her fill her kettle and take a shower my next door neighbour's flat which was empty and to which I had the key.

Finally the plumber came back and put on everybody's water.

As an antidote to the stress of that story, I would like to end with an amusing true story. You couldn't make it up. I didn't. 

The Heating Control

I went to the residents' management meeting at another block of flats, in St John's Wood.  One lady complained about the heating going off in the evenings. 

Her neighbour said he thought the heating was fine. It was cold in the day, but when he came home at a quarter to six pm he turned it up and by the time the six o'clock new started it was nice and warm.

The lady said, "But at six o'clock, when the news starts, my flat gets cold. 

After a minute, her neighbour said, as a joke, "Maybe your flat is wired up to my control. And mine is wired up to your. Or the labels are the wrong way round."

Everybody laughed. Half a minute later, the man with the toasty warm flat said, "Let's check the controls. I'll turn my heat off. Tell when your goes on and off."

The two of them disappeared. Half an hour later they reappeared, both grinning. 

The man said, "The flats are wired up to the controls wrongly. My controller operates her flat and her controller operates mine.  Don't worry. We won't charge the residents' association anything. I can get it fixed."

Everybody grinned. Years later, I still smile when I think about it. I expect the other residents also smile.

Tip

It sounds like a joke. But this sort of thing happens frequently, mostly within your own home. An electrician or plumber who is a novice, or doing things in a rush, connects things the wrong way round.

Even a scientifically minded householder who knows how his own heating system works can forget to check one of the controls. As happened to us. 

Don't assume that because wire or pipe A should be connected to B and C should be connected to D, that it has been done that way. That is wishful thinking. 

Murphy's Law says it best. Assume that 'anything which can go wrong will do so'.

Useful Websites

check a trade (UK)

About the Author