Central Heating Won't Work: Success, disaster, humour

1 Check the timer by the boiler.

2 Check the radiators - may need bleeding.

3 Check the room or hall temperature timer.

Plumbing Success Story

We called a plumber in 2002. He found that our son had turned the room temperature control down in the summer. He made no charge. He looked at other jobs which needed doing and gave us helpful advice.

What if the heating still doesn't work?

Next steps would be:

1 Drain the radiators. Last time this took a day. They emptied one at a time out in a garden or patio.

Plumbing Disaster Story

On another occasion the plumber had to turn off the water.

We were in a block of flats. Our plumber accidentally turned off the flat upstairs. 

Very irate lady upstairs. She had already spent time and money on

He had by now gone to lunch and claimed his car broke down, he was in a traffic jam, would be back at 5 pm. The lady upstairs had bought gallons of drinking water.

I offered to let her fill her kettle and take a shower my next door neighbour's flat which was empty and to which I had the key.

Finally the plumber came back and put on everybody's water.

As an antidote to the stress of that story, I would like to end with an amusing true story. You couldn't make it up. I didn't. 

The Heating Control

I went to the residents' management meeting at another block of flats, in St John's Wood.  One lady complained about the heating going off in the evenings. 

Her neighbour said he thought the heating was fine. It was cold in the day, but when he came home at a quarter to six pm he turned it up and by the time the six o'clock new started it was nice and warm.

The lady said, "But at six o'clock, when the news starts, my flat gets cold. 

After a minute, her neighbour said, as a joke, "Maybe your flat is wired up to my control. And mine is wired up to your. Or the labels are the wrong way round."

Everybody laughed. Half a minute later, the man with the toasty warm flat said, "Let's check the controls. I'll turn my heat off. Tell when your goes on and off."

The two of them disappeared. Half an hour later they reappeared, both grinning. 

The man said, "The flats are wired up to the controls wrongly. My controller operates her flat and her controller operates mine.  Don't worry. We won't charge the residents' association anything. I can get it fixed."

Everybody grinned. Years later, I still smile when I think about it. I expect the other residents also smile.

Tip

It sounds like a joke. But this sort of thing happens frequently, mostly within your own home. An electrician or plumber who is a novice, or doing things in a rush, connects things the wrong way round.

Even a scientifically minded householder who knows how his own heating system works can forget to check one of the controls. As happened to us. 

Don't assume that because wire or pipe A should be connected to B and C should be connected to D, that it has been done that way. That is wishful thinking. 

Murphy's Law says it best. Assume that 'anything which can go wrong will do so'.

Useful Websites

check a trade (UK)

About the Author

Fraud Awareness | Have you got some money? | Pam Ayres

35 Ways To Reuse and Recycle Broken Umbrellas

Broken black umbrella. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright. 

My umbrellas often break when I am travelling. I often see discarded umbrellas and pick them up. 

Then what do you do with them?

Richtom80, CC BY-SA 3.0 <http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/>, via Wikimedia Commons

Umbrella Parts 

Starting at the handle, a curved handle, we have the crook handle. The handle has what looks like a bolt at the top of the straight part called the tip cup.

The main straight upright, like a tree trunk, or flower stem, is called the tube.

The triangular metal piece sticking out near the handle which you press to open the umbrella is called the bottom spring. Another one at the top under the stretchers is the top spring.

The metal spokes radiating out are called stretchers. The arched metal parts (which fold in telescopic umbrellas) are called ribs.

The end of the tube is called the end. The small cap part which touches the ground when you fold up the umbrella and use it like a walking stick is called the ferrule.

Tips On Mending Tips

Lost Umbrella tips

1 Sometimes the umbrella fabric is detached from one of the tips of the spokes (runners). You may simple be able to reattach it, the tip, to the runner. Clip

2 If the tip is lost, see if you can sew the end of the fabric on through a hole or ring. Or glue it to the end of the spoke. 

3 Or make a new tip by making a hole in the end of a plastic bottle top.

4 Or combine tips from two umbrellas to create one new one.

I like to buy two identical umbrellas, either same colour or different colours such as one black, one white, or one red, one black or navy. Then, if you lose one tip from each, you still have one umbrella and lots of spares.

Re-Using Fabric

I often want to save the fabric, maybe to cover another umbrella whose fabric has got dirty.

Other people have used the umbrella fabric to make a tote bag.

You could sew a poncho or hat or raincoat for a doll, or a teddy bear.

The Metal

Use the wonky umbrella to shelter a picnic. Use the spokes to support plant stems, or as a trellis for climbers (those which are decorative, not for fruit in case you catch your hands on the spikes).

Photo Props

I use broken umbrellas as photo props.

Turn the umbrella so that the broken part is behind your back.

Spares To Loan/Give Away For One Use

If an acquaintance wants to borrow an umbrella from you on a rainy day but you are afraid you will never get it back, you can lend them a broken umbrella for a one way trip from your house to a waiting taxi.

While you are stuck at home or in a hotel or quarantine centre after travelling during Covid-19, you can use the time repairing or upcycling your broken umbrellas.

Umbrellas as Parasols

The word umbrella comes from the root umbra meaning shade.  (Burn umber - dark umber paint.) Umbrellas were derived from parasols - against the sun, sol being a word for sun, as in solar eclipse). In a hot country or on a hot day you can use an umbrella to protect against the sun.

A white umbrella can be used in photography. 

An umbrella can be used to hide your face from cameras. Also to hide your body when you need to relieve yourself when hiking in a national park which lacks toilets (as we found in Romania and Bulgaria) or where toilets are closed for economy or for health reasons during covid-19 or closed at night for security. 

Umbrella Stories

I once caught the last train in London, England, and found the toilets at my destination were locked. The umbrella came in handy.

 I also found in Guilin, China, that the toilet cubicle doors were missing and off their hinges. I had no privacy because, all the Chinese girls called each other to come to look at me because a Westerner was a novelty in deepest China. 

Afterwards I told a friend. They said, 'Why didn't you just open your umbrella!' 

The moral is, always carry an umbrella. If you don't have one, and you see a broken one lying around, you can use that.

Nowadays, 2020, with Covid-19, I no longer pick up abandoned items. However, if you carry a pair of protective gloves, and a large bag, you can pop into your bag anything you don't wish to touch. The bag and contents can be washed or put in the freezer.

Props

I use broken umbrellas as props for photos, at home, in a garden or on a balcony. You could also do this on a rainy day, a cloudy day, or a sunny day.

 

Useful Websites 

35 Ways To Reuse and Recycle Umbrellas

How to hand-sew a zip

Why would you want to hand sew a zip?

1 Your old zip has come loose.
2 The old zip is broken and needs replacing by a new one.
3 An open tote bag neds a zip to prevent theft and to prevent items falling out.

I wrote this on Facebook in reply to somebody else's post.
If you don't have a sewing machine, it is easier than it looks. Just decide whether you want your zip hidden or exposed.

At what height do you want the pull tab. Pin the pull tab in place.

Then pin the other end.

Pin the middle of both sides of the zip.

Sew a straight line. Use matching colour cotton. Best to do a tacking stitch (Big running stitch) first, which can be easily pulled out if the zip is in the wrong place.

Sew neatly up both sides, making sure you do not attach the zip to the other side of the garment at the back.

Make sure the end of the zip is tucked in. Over-sew the end so the zip pull doesn't pull out of the end.

Replacement zips can be bought online from major suppliers such as Amazon. Also craft shops. Discount shops such as Daiso.

Or save zips from discarded old or stained clothes and bags.

Any questions or problems?

Useful Websites

https://www.daisojapan.com/p-21455-zipper-ivory-5-pcs-4pks.aspx

For something heavier, and no need to sew the ends together, a jacket zipper, but start with it zipped up to be sure the sides align.

https://www.amazon.com/YaHoGa-Separating-Jacket-Zippers-Plastic/dp/B08M97CJND/ref=zg_bs_2933767011_4?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=3GKZBF87029W9BTRTNSH

About the Author

Angela Lansbury, Author of: How to get our of the mess your'e in.

Microwave won't work?

Problem

The microwave was not working. I suspected the machine was all right. I hoped so. I had done something wrong.This had happened once before. Last time I had accidentally pressed the delay timer on one of the household appliances, maybe just knocked it when cleaning.

It often happens that you can't get a machine to start. Even with a piece of equipment you know well. Especially if it's something you have used for a long time. You might have had it away for the season, not used it when you were living elsewhere. 

Solution - Email A Firend

Eventually, I emailed a family member. 

The Internet

They looked up the machine online. I knew they would find either the same model or something similar. They replied:

Microwave Instructions

To use the microwave, punch the highest power setting (these are at the top, ordered from lowest to highest with little symbols) then punch say 30 for 30 seconds, then punch On, which is at the bottom (Off is far left next to the door release, On is to the right). You can interrupt cooking by  opening/closing the door, or cancel it at any time using Off.

If you get in a muddle during programming, Off cancels everything so you can start again.

Keeping Instructions

I sent the email to myself with a new heading Microwave instruction so if I forget again in several months time I shall be able to find the instructions quickly.

Why Written Instructions Are Useful

I also find that if I ask for directions, a person will tell me. If I want clarification five minutes later, or months late, they are likely to reply, "I told you before."

This demoralises me. Why do they get cross? Is it because they think I'm stupid?

Teacher's Frustration

No. It's not about me, but how they think my asking again reflects on them. I know how they feel, because they tell me, "You're not listening to me."

Verbal Versus Written Reminders

Much better to have the instructions sent by email. That way I can look at the instructions again whenever I need help.

Phone A Friend

I then phoned another family member to announce that the problem had been solved. Nothing wrong with the microwave. I thought, by telling them, I would have another backup if it ever goes wrong again. They said:

Process of Elimination

I always press all the buttons in turn, on any equipment which won't work. I had thought of that and tried it.

The basic problem is, the machine has instructions, but I cannot understand the symbols.

Labels

I decided to write 'on' and 'off' on small white labels and stick them on the microwave. That saves me having to stop and think.

What Went Wrong?

I noticed two things which fooled me. Firstly, the off button is a downward arrow which suggested to me it meant turn on. Secondly, the off button is on the left. I had been reading all day. Therefore my instinct was not to start on the right, using my right hand, but to start on the left, like somebody reading.

I hope this helps you sort out your problems.

Author

Angela Lansbury, author of How To Get Out Of The Mess You're In.

How to paint better, like Klimt, like yourself, and appreciate other painters

Klimt painting displayed in New York city, New York state, USA.

APPRECIATING KLIMT
On Facebook I saw a pretty painting by Klimpt.

When I draw or paint as an amateur my struggle is to observe and create a likeness. Klimt is at the next stage, to create something beautiful in a new and unique style which reminds the onlooker of something pleasing. 

His method is to brighten a dull scene from the grey hut, grey tree trunks, dark green leaves, blue jeans. He creates a confetti effect, contrasting circles of bright colour. His bright contrasts are white, yellow and red. 

At a painting course this summer (2017, Susan Allison at Writer's Holiday, their next holiday being at Fishguard in Wales, February 2018) one of our first lessons was watching her demonstrate making a dark background and leaving a contrast of white or yellow in the middle for a sunny day, a sunset, a tunnel, whatever.

Klimt also makes a person the centre of attention, bright spring or summer flowers scattered up the body.  Colour creates a halo effect around the head, and brightness of the clothes.

Only on second glance did I realise that it's not one picture but a video, a sequence of pictures.

In many of the Klimt pictures one person is cradling or protecting themselves or another. They smile or faintly smile. But flowers surround them.

Only on second glance did I see in the first picture the crucifix dwarfed by the happiness. We give flowers to a bride. We take flowers to a funeral to add colour and scent, traditionally to conceal smells, create perfume to soothe and brighten the room.

I find that if I write too much about sad subjects, or create or see have too much sad music or painting, it depresses me. Colours lifts my mood. If you want to keep yourself and others happy, acknowledge their sadness but add as much colour as you can and spread happiness.

SEEING PAINTINGS
If you want to see more Klimt paintings and read about the artist, go to Wiki. You might also be interested in films about the paintings:

On August 7, 2006, Christie's auction house announced it was handling the sale of the remaining four works by Klimt that were recovered by Maria Altmann and her co-heirs after their long legal battle against Austria (see Republic of Austria v. Altmann). Maria Altmann's fight to regain her family's paintings has been the subject of a number of documentary films, including Adele's Wish.^[27] Her struggle also became the subject of the dramatic film the Woman in Gold, a movie inspired by Stealing Klimt, the documentary featuring Maria Altmann herself.^[28] The portrait of Adele Bloch-Bauer II was sold at auction in November 2006 for $88 million, the third-highest priced piece of art at auction at the time.^[29][30] 

PAINTING COURSES
http://www.writersholiday.net 

https://www.facebook.com/angela.lansbury.121/posts/10159341644375597?comment_id=10159342967085597&notif_t=feed_comment&notif_id=1505203473890947


Angela Lansbury, travel writer and photographer, caricaturist, author and speaker.

What's Making Holes In My Lawn?

Squirrels on lawn in London, England. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

Dig this! I wrote on Facebook that I would take a picture of a squirrel. The squirrel picture which I promised is here! 

Not only that, I have solved another problem. What was making holes in my lawn. I was editing my photos and found my attempt to photograph a squirrel, the culprit responsible for holes in my lawn. 

Normally I would have deleted this picture because when the subject is blown up large the picture is out of focus. That is not clear to the reader and does not reflect well on me as a professional photographer of in focus pictures, carefully cropped to tell a story, usually about travel and tourist sights.

However, I cannot re-take the photo and it is interesting evidence of criminal damage by the squirrel! Let's analyse this incriminating photo, like detectives.

On the left is an innocent by-stander, the bird. This bird is not a useful witness - busy with his own breakfast, annoyed at being wrongly accused, saw nothing. 

The bird was listed in our list of suspects as a wood pigeon. It was later identified from feathered outfit with white ring around the neck as a collared dove. 

This picture is cropped with the squirrel culprit in the middle, the two other characters forming a triangle. On the right is another squirrel which is leaping, racing towards its quarry, the central criminal squirrel obliviously burying its loot.

Afterwards, I saw the squirrels chasing each other, fighting, escaping, fighting, racing off, engaging again, quite a fracas! Only when I looked at this photo did I realise what the fuss, the fight was all about. One squirrel is burying its food. The second is trying to grab the food. 

The squirrel on the right is not police in my pay protecting the lawn. Alas no. The second squirrel is even worse, a squirrel mugger! That's why I have so many holes in my lawn.

Known Noises

Secondly, I have now identified the source of so much mysterious noise from unidentified flying objects. Thumps land on the creaking fence and bang on the roof, day and night. 

By daylight I see four or more magpies, looking so smart, black and white like men in dinner suits, but seen as thieves by smaller birds. The magpies, like the squirrel, are also taking food away from weaker creatures (small birds and soft hearted gardeners like me). 

Magpies are constantly pacing the conservatory roof. Next comes a loud, banging of hard fruit with their beaks, attempting to crack open unripe nuts, fruit, figs.

A high pitch sound at night might be cats caterwauling. 

At night Casanova foxes pursue and catch vociferous, screeching, lady foxes of the night.  Once I heard such a lot of shrieking outside in the dark street that I nearly called the police. next day I asked my neighbour. She said it is foxes mating. She has them breeding at the far end of her garden. 

Now I have identified another noise as scampering squirrels, scattering and pattering, fighting for food. It's a wild world out there.

Author
Angela Lansbury, travel writer and phtographer, atuhor and speaker. Author of How to Get Out of The Mess You're In. I give talks on this subject covering finding your glasses, getting organised