Predicting And Preventing Problems After Divorce, Eviction, And Redundancy

Problem - Redundant

 Years ago I was made redundant at an advertising agency.

Cause

It was not my fault. The company had lost contracts. 

Help

When Personnel gave me the bad news, they went through a relevant newspaper, found me two jobs to apply for. They helpfully printed off a cv for me to send and stuck it in the envelope.

They also rang up another company, explained my situation. Then, they put me on the phone for an initial phone interview, arranging for me to go to the office for an interview. 

Success

When I left I had a new job to go to.

If you lose your job, or are out of work, you might be unable to pay rent and bills. This can lead to eviction.

Eviction

The person being evicted might have nowhere to go. The stress of leaving their home could overwhelm them.

Pictures in public domain under eviction from Wikipedia.

Divorce

Being homeless can lead to divorce. Divorce can lead to financial disputes. Also custody of children battles. Divorce can be the result of financial problems. Or the cause of them.

For one person, divorce can be news of a new start. For another it can be the end.

Marriage guidance is there to try to help prevent divorce. But where is the help for those divorcing?

Lawyers tend to go into battle to help their client financially. Some lawyers encourage mediation.

Another factor contributing to divorce, and depression, is bereavement.

If you think of the mind as like a see-saw, put too many items on the negative side and the see-saw goes down. You need to have something on the positive side.

Prediction

When somebody is divorced or made homeless it is pretty obvious that they will be angry. They might attack those who they blame or random bystanders. 

Preventing Problems

A system should be in place to register and help the homeless, unemployed, divorced, bereaved, neighbours in disputes, before matters get out of hand.

Relevant Websites

A search online will produce websites related to the country where your computer setting show you to be. If you are on holiday or working in another country, or trying to help somebody in another country, you need to change the wording of your search, or your computer or phone settings.

Divorce

https://www.familylives.org.uk/advice/divorce-and-separation/thinking-about-divorce/getting-counselling-to-help-you-during-divorce-or-separation

Redundancy

https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/redundancy.html

Eviction

https://england.shelter.org.uk/housing_advice

Refugees

https://www.refugeecouncil.org.uk/our-work/mental-health-support-for-refugees-and-asylum-seekers/

Mistakes and Apologies - Training Children & Adults

 It seems we need to train every child and driver and adult what to do in an emergency. From a baby crying, to a road accident to an elderly person's corpse. 

First, a baby is not evil. It cries because it is cold or hungry or tired or wants loving attention. You don't hit it to quieten it. You offer food, hugs, rocking, or a rocking cradle or a ride in a vehicle. 

Secondly, if you make a mistake, such as knocking over somebody's drink in a pub, or causing damage with a vehicle, you apologise. 

Thirdly, if somebody else makes a mistake, you address them politely, not angrily which escalates things.

 Fourthly, it is not safe for children and pets to run around in driveways and on roads where they might be hit by vehicles, wander off, or fall in ditches, or be abducted, or die of starvation or cold. 

Nor is it safe for children and adults to be locked in windowless basements or outbuildings. 

Fifthly, we already have mandatory (in the UK) signs for restaurant staff toilets saying Wash your hands. In restaurants, hospitals and places serving food there should be signs saying, do not touch the blades of knives or tines of forks, bowls of spoons or inside plates, bowls and glasses. 

I have a book which gives children multiple choice questions about what to do in school and visiting homes, telling them the likely result of each choice. Everything from avoiding eye contact with a teach to prolonged unsmiling staring at another pupil, or shoving somebody or prodding them or threatening a child or adult to scare them or 'for a joke'. 

Often running away causes an animal, especially an attack dog, to chase you. 

A friendly pet or animal can get aggressive when hurt, as any vet knows. The animal does not know the pain comes from inside or another source and will attack anybody who approaches or tries to touch it. Even friendly pets should be kept away from or muzzled in the presence of babies and small children who might scream, shout, fall or pull the animal's tail for a joke. 

The same applies to the police. Run or drive away in a hurry and they think that you are a criminal. They fear that if you escape you will make a circle and come up behind them and kill them from behind soon after or another day.

Useful Websites

Problems

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-11518965/FedEx-driver-killed-Athena-Strand-7-hit-van-strangled-panicked.html#reader-comments

Solutions

https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/1187506343/good-choices-vs-bad-choices-behaviour?

https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/942766788/no-biting-a-social-story-for-autism-

You can find lots more books on good and bad behaviour to share with one child or a group.

 If the person doing the questionnaire makes a choice which will likely result in a worse situation, they are told the best answer and are asked to re-do the quiz and try another choice. 

Useful search words are behaviour, choices, tracker, questionnaire, chart, flash card, book.

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